Gingers Unite

 Hey Red!  A redhead is indeed a rare breed of human. Red or ginger hair is the rarest natural hair color and varies in shade from strawberry blonde to auburn. Lucille Ball was not a natural redhead; she took to the bottle for her flaming signature coif. Other notable natural red-heads include Queen Elizabeth 1, Prince Harry, Emma Stone, Nicole Kidman, Bonnie Raitt, Carol Burnett,  David Bowie, Mark Twain, Seth Green, Vincent Van Gogh, Thomas Jefferson, and yes, Christopher Columbus. Redhead Day is the name of a Dutch summer festival that takes place the first weekend in September in the city of Breda, in the Netherlands.

reds   Red hair occurs naturally   in approximately 1-2% of the human population. It occurs more frequently (2-6%) in people of northern or western European ancestry, the result of that flamboyant recessive gene on chromosome 16. It is associated with fair skin, lighter eye color, freckles and sensitivity to ultraviolet light. True redheads have green eyes. Scotland has the highest percentage of red hair at 13%. Ireland comes in second.

  Many common stereotypes  exist regarding redheads and they are often portrayed as fiery-tempered. Another belief is that redheads are highly sexual. It is observed that the fire-haired of both sexes are more libidinous and mischievous than the rest, whom of us whom they much exceed in strength and activity. Ooh-la-la. A redhead is one of the most beautiful creatures on Earth (too bad there are so little of them.) Rumored to have a three times as powerful sex drive as normal mortal women, female redheads are worshipped for their beauty (not so much for their male counterparts.) She is an exotic woman with a fiery temper! Perhaps it’s Time to light the fire in your life? Color applications $60-90 (and up) at Salon 230.

 There is no Cure for Ginger-Vitus  

According to urban dictionary, I am inferior, because of my exterior.

No souls, no lives, their words like knives, no wonder Lindsay Lohan is in rehab.

Auburn, pale, blondish-red, strawberry and copper atop my head.

Some with freckles, some without, descendants of Vikings—no doubt.

I am here to tell you, yes, you may call me Blue.

I am proud, and I embrace every brown dot upon my face.

We are the new blonde, thank you Vogue—Glad you are fond.

Artistic, Fierce Fighters, hold up your lighters.

High tolerance for pain, and who’s to blame?

I am here to tell you, Ginger-vitus is not curable.

Thank God! Because, Except with sun, I am durable.

—Tiger Kneller


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *